Why I Am No Longer Vegan
This post shares my honest experience moving away from a vegan diet because it was no longer supporting my health. I share what happened during the 3 1/2 years of eating 100% plant-based and why I no longer support this lifestyle.
I wrote this post half a dozen times and shared drafts with a limited number of trusted friends before ultimately scrapping them all, starting over, and writing from my heart.
You read from the title of this post that I am not vegan anymore.
I know this is a shocking statement, and I apologize for any disappointment, confusion, or anger that it might create.
I became vegan in 2010 and followed a whole foods version of that lifestyle for nearly 3 ½ years. During that time, I resolved health conditions including chronic migraines, allergies, and anxiety. I learned so much about nutrition and the realities of food production and I never, ever thought I would consume animal products again.
Cancer Experience
You probably also know that in 2012, a cancerous tumor grew on my thyroid gland*. It was removed and, as far as I know, I am cured. The physical and psychological ramifications were more difficult to heal, though, and are relevant to this discussion because I believe they put me in a fragile state.
Pretty quickly after my cancer diagnosis, I started viewing foods as either “good” or “bad” and I questioned every bite as to whether or not it would feed cancer cells. Food became the enemy.
Ongoing Symptoms
Fast forward to the end of 2013 and early 2014 and my frustration started to grow over why I wasn’t bouncing back from my experience.
I developed insomnia, amennorhea, hot flashes, brittle nails, depression, and a complete lack of energy, not to mention a recurrence of binge eating and restrictive eating patterns that I had not experienced since adolescence. I was on a very dangerous path.
Read more in my article on how to fight fatigue on a vegan diet.
Changing My Diet
After extensive research and with the advice of several doctors, I started experimenting with different variations of a vegan diet, knowing the power of good nutrition on both the mind and the body.
I added plant-based protein powders and increased my overall intake of beans, nuts, seeds, and soy products, as well as using bright light therapy.
These changes helped, but were not enough, so I started taking a high-quality probiotic and a high-dose, fish-based EPA supplement that also helped, but were not vegan.
Then, most recently, I started consuming animal foods including eggs and meat, mostly fish.
Post Vegan Changes
The result? I’m feeling better. Over the past two months or so, I’ve been sleeping more soundly and my energy levels have stabilized. My very near obsession with food and restriction is virtually gone and my mood is overall much, much better.
I’m not saying that I am in perfect health and I never have a hard day, but overall I feel as if I am healing. I continue to work with a professional therapist and using the book Intuitive Eating as my guide for the emotional work. I do not know yet of the long-term effects of this new way of living and I imagine it will take more time to see quantifiable results, but this is the route I am taking.
Please know that I am not suggesting in any way that a 100% vegan diet can’t work for some people. I am not the best example considering my health issues and I don’t have the answers as to what may have been the reason why I could not sustain a purely plant-based diet.
I suspect that I might be someone whose chemistry requires higher quality protein or that my digestive system wasn’t doing a good enough job in extracting what I needed. And, obviously, my health history has had an impact on how I feel and how my body functions.
[Editor’s note: I have a comprehensive post on the dangers of a vegan diet that goes into further details about the problems that can occur when you eliminate all animal products from your diet].
One of the costs of this change from a vegan lifestyle is the impact on animals. I did everything I could to educate myself about the issues these past several years and my concern for animals was what brought me to veganism in the first place. I believe I was an ethical vegan in the sense that I tried everything I could to not start eating animals again.
I am making every effort to choose ethically-sourced animal products, although that does not erase completely the guilt of my choices in the sense that I am still contributing to animal suffering. However, I am committed to continuing to educate myself about the issues and being open to the possibility of further change in the future.
You may also want to check out my article on how to re-introduce meat after a vegan diet.
My Body, My Choice
If you are reading this and feel a sense of support that I am doing what I need to do, then I appreciate that understanding. I do not expect that everyone will feel that way. I clearly remember reading in the past about people doing what I am doing and feeling judgment for their decisions. At the time, I could not understand what could possibly lead others to “go back” from being vegan.
Ultimately, I feel that this is a very personal choice and I cannot say whether you should or shouldn’t be vegan. If you can eat this way and feel good, then I believe there are proven health benefits as well as being a more compassionate and sustainable way of living. I still feel committed to doing what I can to help animals and to take care of our environment.
I know that what I have written may result in a change in my relationship with many of you. The difference in our values may be a “deal-breaker” and I think it is only natural that some of us grow apart, although I do not necessarily wish for that to happen.
As always, I am open to your questions and concerns, but please know I will not tolerate hurtful comments. For my readers and friends who still connect with where I am coming from, I thank you sincerely and I couldn’t be more excited about continuing on this journey with you.
*I want to clarify that I do not believe a vegan diet caused my cancer, nor do I believe I will ever know the exact cause.
**I feel obligated to paste my disclaimer here that I am not a licensed health professional so I am not offering medical advice nor am I able to respond to specific questions about your situation. Please consult your health professional before making any changes to your diet.
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About the Author: Carrie Forrest has a master’s degree in public health with a specialty in nutrition. She is a top wellness and food blogger with over 5 million annual visitors to her site. Carrie has an incredible story of recovery from chronic illness and is passionate about helping other women transform their health. Send Carrie a message through her contact form.
Hi Carrie,
I am wishing you all the best as you explore what works for your health. Everyone has unique needs and the right to choose how to eat.
I remain a plant eater who doesn’t eat animals for personal reasons. I’ve been vegetarian for over 3 decades and eating “vegan” for the last 16 of those years. Much as I wish it were a simple answer for everyone – eat only plants, I’ve seen how some people do better eating eggs, fish and even meat. I wish that weren’t true, but it seems to be for some people and you may be one of those.
Chef AJ found not eating nuts and seeds helped her health. Others find eating nuts and seeds helps them. Some find eating fewer grains helps and other find more whole starches are necessary. You are finding what you need. You may need more than plants in your eating repertoire.
This is a big planet with many ways to choose to live. I respect your right to choose differently than I choose. I hope you find even more vigorous health from your choice.
Hugs,
Lilly
Thank you for the wise and comforting words, Lilly. I so agree that we all have individual needs, especially those of us who have very complicated medical histories. I thank you for the respect, and I’m sending it back to you, complete with a virtual hug. 🙂
Hi Carrie —
I am a little late in getting this news, I know. I have been a follower of your blog in the last year after hearing about you on Our Hen House, one of my favorite podcasts. I am so sorry to hear what you went through health-wise and wish you the best in your healing journey. As an ethical vegan, of course I wish everyone could find ways to thrive on 100% plant-based diets. And when they don’t, I wish there were some magic test that could be done to let those people know what’s missing. I’m sorry there was no such test for you, as I can see how much it pained you to resort to animal protein. Hopefully there will be a way for you to do be vegan again one day, but the in the meantime, I wish you the best of luck and healing.
all the best,
Beth
Thank you SO much, Beth, for your supportive words. I never, ever could have imagined that I would have gone this route, but I’m glad you appreciate the fact that I felt I had nowhere else to turn. It makes it easier knowing that some of my vegan friends still support me, so thank you for sharing your compassion.
Hi Carrie,
Ironically, I am finding your blog for the first time because of the “I’m not vegan anymore” post. The vegan lifestyle is very important to me, but I can’t claim to know everything and I can see that you did a lot of research on the diet which would enable your body to thrive and be healthy. I wish you the best of luck, and good health and happiness, and looking forward to reading more posts.
Be well!
Thank you, Anne! I appreciate the kind words of support and hope you enjoy more of what you read in the future, even though I won’t be posting strictly vegan content going forward. I appreciate your open-mindedness and I’m sending you back all kinds of good wishes for health and happiness.
Hi Carrie,
I haven’t been able to read all the comments so my apologies beforehand if I write something already written.
I think each person has to do what’s best for his/her well-being; sort of like until one walks a mile in someone else’s shoes . . . . no one truly knows the challenges and hardships that that person may be experiencing.
Life is all about change according to what needs to happen at different crossroads of our lives – and I totally support your new journey.
By the way, I come from a part of the country where hunting or fishing is more of a bonding time between a father and son than anything else. It’s been that way for generations, and many healthy, emotional bonds between fathers and sons have been formed as a result. Even though I rarely eat meat these days, I’ve never criticized anyone who does – and I never will. It’s one’s personal choice that I fully support either way.
You go girl! Live life to the fullest, and it sounds like you are finding that path of contentment and joy for you!
Blessings always . . . .
Thank you, Emily. I am so happy to have your thoughtful and wise input. I so admire your strength and wholeheartedly agree that we cannot assume anything about the challenges and hardships that others are facing. Sending you my very, very best, and I hope our paths cross again soon. Xoxo.
Hi Carrie,
I stumbled upon your website by playing around on Pinterest looking for vegan soup recipes.
I’m now 58, been plant based since 2010. It’s been a revelation for me AND for my body… lots of stuff corrected themselves and my blood levels are normal without any medication. It helped at the time that my doctor was vegan, too.
I’ll come right out and say it being almost a bystander to this conversation, not knowing anyone here except AJ who I’ve been following for about a year now. Actually I’ve followed Julieanna Hever who has worked with AJ which is why I “know” of her.
I’m shocked. I’m shocked by “hrmph” attitude and unkind words that some people feel free to throw at you. You struggled with cancer. You live in your body. Your body has unique needs. I hope by this time (about a month after you announced), you’ve let go of the guilt and have forgiven yourself for needing to eat minimal amounts of animal protein. That’s what’s most important here. If, by chance, circumstances change and you find you can thrive (not survive, but THRIVE) on being 100% plant based again, well that’s GREAT. But in the meantime, do what your body is telling you to do.
Missyed is so right. I’ve heard “Christians” say the same kind of nasty stuff when someone decides to “leave a church”. It’s strange how similar your situation is. No one knows your heart but you. Be well, Carrie.
Christine
Thank you, Christine. I really, really appreciate the kind words and understanding. I read your comment twice and agree with everything you said. Your words gave me comfort. Xoxo.
I just happened to come across your blog on Pinterest. After skimming through some of the comments, I just wanted to offer you what support I can.
I applaud your courage for having to go through this in such public format.
I am not and never have been a vegan. I do try to follow a vegan diet during certain religious seasons, (I am an Orthodox Christian for anyone who is curious) though I’m not always very good at it (I really love cheese!). But I gotta say, the church is far more forgiving of fasting faux pas than many vegans. In fact, in my readings on this and other blogs and vegan websites, they can be quite an off-putting lot.
One thing I do admire about the “militaristic” vegans, though, is their passion. I only wish that passion and energy was directed towards human beings. There are abused, innocent, helpless. and starving people in this world that are just as much in need of our protection. I love animals and would never intentionally cause harm to them (yes, except for all the murder and maltreatment I am personally responsible for by eating animals). I don’t even kill ants and spiders (flies and mosquitoes get no love, though). But energy and resources spent to save a baby cow over a baby human confuse me. The bottom line is, I love people more, and I believe far more in protecting the rights, freedoms, emotional, psychological, and physical health of a human person.
And to those that would disrespect your physical needs and injure your emotional and psychological well-being at a time when you really don’t need the stress…I just really struggle to understand their priorities.
I have also read many very supportive comments, and I gather you are strong and reasonable enough to give each comment their due accordance. I just wanted to add another stone of support against the stones of judgement.
Thank you so much, Rachel. Your words are so wise and offer me a lot of comfort. Like you, I admire the passion of my very dedicated vegan friends, but I was also very hurt to have judgment directed at me, especially when I tried to be so honest about what was happening. Anyway, I have learned a ton from this experience, mostly about the dangers of putting labels on my lifestyle and forgiving myself for being imperfect. Thank you again for your thoughtful words and I’m so glad you found my blog! 🙂
I’m so proud of you, Carrie.
Please don’t listen to anyone questioning your choices. They don’t live in your body, you do.
Live free!
Thank you, Amber!!! I’ve been meaning to e-mail you for a few weeks now, but I think you’re amazing and you certainly helped pave the way for those of us who had to adapt our diets for various reasons. I have a huge amount of admiration and respect for you, and feel lucky to call you a friend. Xoxo.
I stumbled on this blog while looking for info on vegans. I’ve never been one myself (pure omnivore here) but I recently started working with a woman who is vegan, and one of my kids started dating someone who is vegan and has also made his identity as an AR activist as well. It’s kind of shocking to see anyone say negative things on your blog but after thinking about it I realize I shouldn’t be shocked at all. Having been somewhat interested in Christian apologetics for over 10 years I see the exact same thing when someone in a group “defects”. The idea that you “were never really a vegan” (it’s the NO TRUE SCOTSMAN fallacy, look it up), the shaming, the personal insults. All these things disguise the other persons own weaknesses. It’s like holding up a mirror in many ways and people don’t like their own reflections so they want to your perfect reflection instead . I can’t think of one single human being who has been held up as a model-for-whatever who lived up to it. NOT ONE. The appearance may be there but that’s only because they would choose to FADE and not be honest publicly (unless caught red handed…you know the scandals). The only difference between you and ever other not-quite-a-perfect-hero is your willingness to admit you AREN’T a perfect hero. If I became a vegetarian today the vegans would cheer, if you do they hiss. Odd isn’t it?. And, like some religions and other “special” groups, it’s also about control. Mind control, food control (the worst possible thing ever for health and sanity), and dare I say, control over our perceived superiority? Yes, I dare. Don’t feel bad about anything here, you personally are 1000% better at THIS particular cause than I will ever be and if “saving animals” is actually happening by someone refusing to have anything to do with animal “stuff” well I’m sure you’ve saved your fair share. I’ll just keep being kind to the animals that show up at my door, that’s all I’m giving to this particular cause. You can’t be everyone’s hero and it isn’t your problem, it’s theirs.
Your message is one of the main reasons why I blog: to connect with smart people who get it. You brought up points I had never even considered that make perfect sense to me. Thank you!!!
Oh but so many vegans wouldn’t cheer if you became vegetarian because it’s “only” vegetarian and not enough. I hardly ate any vegetables when I started dating a vegan and 3 years later I became vegan too.
Hi Carrie,
I respect and support your decision. I had a friend who went through a similar experience after years of eating a mostly plant-based diet. She was a vegetarian, though, and not a vegan. She wound up in the hospital as a consequence of not getting all the nutrients her body needed despite how carefully she ate, and she made the decision to start eating meat again. I, myself, tried to go vegan, but I have thyroid and dietary issues and was also having trouble getting the proper nutrients, so after consulting various doctors and dieticians, I am working on creating a vegetarian diet that works for me but includes cheese and dairy. We are omnivores, and while a vegan diet works well for someone people, we’re all built differently, and some of us can’t go strictly vegan. You need to do what is best for you body. Good luck with everything in the future, and I look forward to continuing to read your wonderful blog as it evolves. There is a lot to be learned from your experience.
Thank you, Crystal! I’m so sorry to hear about your friend and I’m glad you are doing what you need to do to be healthy. I agree, there is so much to be learned from all of our experiences. I am learning, too. Sending you my very best.
Uh-huh, I’m not even vegan myself (vegetarian), but this is… it’s just funny. Vegan who don’t use supplements gets better after eating animal products. Colour me surprised.
Listen, m’lady, as a vegan you have to use certain supplements, including (but not limited to) iodine and B12. You should track omega 3 as well, but this issue can be fixed with dietary changes alone (i.e. flaxseed oil). Vegan diet is NOT healthy without additional supplementation.
I agree and have supplemented from day 1. But, good advice!