Why I Am No Longer Vegan
This post shares my honest experience moving away from a vegan diet because it was no longer supporting my health. I share what happened during the 3 1/2 years of eating 100% plant-based and why I no longer support this lifestyle.
I wrote this post half a dozen times and shared drafts with a limited number of trusted friends before ultimately scrapping them all, starting over, and writing from my heart.
You read from the title of this post that I am not vegan anymore.
I know this is a shocking statement, and I apologize for any disappointment, confusion, or anger that it might create.
I became vegan in 2010 and followed a whole foods version of that lifestyle for nearly 3 ½ years. During that time, I resolved health conditions including chronic migraines, allergies, and anxiety. I learned so much about nutrition and the realities of food production and I never, ever thought I would consume animal products again.
Cancer Experience
You probably also know that in 2012, a cancerous tumor grew on my thyroid gland*. It was removed and, as far as I know, I am cured. The physical and psychological ramifications were more difficult to heal, though, and are relevant to this discussion because I believe they put me in a fragile state.
Pretty quickly after my cancer diagnosis, I started viewing foods as either “good” or “bad” and I questioned every bite as to whether or not it would feed cancer cells. Food became the enemy.
Ongoing Symptoms
Fast forward to the end of 2013 and early 2014 and my frustration started to grow over why I wasn’t bouncing back from my experience.
I developed insomnia, amennorhea, hot flashes, brittle nails, depression, and a complete lack of energy, not to mention a recurrence of binge eating and restrictive eating patterns that I had not experienced since adolescence. I was on a very dangerous path.
Read more in my article on how to fight fatigue on a vegan diet.
Changing My Diet
After extensive research and with the advice of several doctors, I started experimenting with different variations of a vegan diet, knowing the power of good nutrition on both the mind and the body.
I added plant-based protein powders and increased my overall intake of beans, nuts, seeds, and soy products, as well as using bright light therapy.
These changes helped, but were not enough, so I started taking a high-quality probiotic and a high-dose, fish-based EPA supplement that also helped, but were not vegan.
Then, most recently, I started consuming animal foods including eggs and meat, mostly fish.
Post Vegan Changes
The result? I’m feeling better. Over the past two months or so, I’ve been sleeping more soundly and my energy levels have stabilized. My very near obsession with food and restriction is virtually gone and my mood is overall much, much better.
I’m not saying that I am in perfect health and I never have a hard day, but overall I feel as if I am healing. I continue to work with a professional therapist and using the book Intuitive Eating as my guide for the emotional work. I do not know yet of the long-term effects of this new way of living and I imagine it will take more time to see quantifiable results, but this is the route I am taking.
Please know that I am not suggesting in any way that a 100% vegan diet can’t work for some people. I am not the best example considering my health issues and I don’t have the answers as to what may have been the reason why I could not sustain a purely plant-based diet.
I suspect that I might be someone whose chemistry requires higher quality protein or that my digestive system wasn’t doing a good enough job in extracting what I needed. And, obviously, my health history has had an impact on how I feel and how my body functions.
[Editor’s note: I have a comprehensive post on the dangers of a vegan diet that goes into further details about the problems that can occur when you eliminate all animal products from your diet].
One of the costs of this change from a vegan lifestyle is the impact on animals. I did everything I could to educate myself about the issues these past several years and my concern for animals was what brought me to veganism in the first place. I believe I was an ethical vegan in the sense that I tried everything I could to not start eating animals again.
I am making every effort to choose ethically-sourced animal products, although that does not erase completely the guilt of my choices in the sense that I am still contributing to animal suffering. However, I am committed to continuing to educate myself about the issues and being open to the possibility of further change in the future.
You may also want to check out my article on how to re-introduce meat after a vegan diet.
My Body, My Choice
If you are reading this and feel a sense of support that I am doing what I need to do, then I appreciate that understanding. I do not expect that everyone will feel that way. I clearly remember reading in the past about people doing what I am doing and feeling judgment for their decisions. At the time, I could not understand what could possibly lead others to “go back” from being vegan.
Ultimately, I feel that this is a very personal choice and I cannot say whether you should or shouldn’t be vegan. If you can eat this way and feel good, then I believe there are proven health benefits as well as being a more compassionate and sustainable way of living. I still feel committed to doing what I can to help animals and to take care of our environment.
I know that what I have written may result in a change in my relationship with many of you. The difference in our values may be a “deal-breaker” and I think it is only natural that some of us grow apart, although I do not necessarily wish for that to happen.
As always, I am open to your questions and concerns, but please know I will not tolerate hurtful comments. For my readers and friends who still connect with where I am coming from, I thank you sincerely and I couldn’t be more excited about continuing on this journey with you.
*I want to clarify that I do not believe a vegan diet caused my cancer, nor do I believe I will ever know the exact cause.
**I feel obligated to paste my disclaimer here that I am not a licensed health professional so I am not offering medical advice nor am I able to respond to specific questions about your situation. Please consult your health professional before making any changes to your diet.
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About the Author: Carrie Forrest has a master’s degree in public health with a specialty in nutrition and is studying to be a holistic nutritionist. She is a top wellness and food blogger with over 5 million annual visitors to her site. Carrie has an incredible story of recovery from chronic illness and is passionate about helping other women transform their health. Send her a message through her contact form.
I know this article was written years ago but it resounds with me greatly.
I came to this article because I’ve not been eating meat for a few years now. I’ve been mainly plant-based with intermittent bouts of destructive eating as well, especially lately. Recently I’ve been feeling dog tired most of the time too.
It all began with health issues where I thought I might have RA or some kind of inflammatory arthritis. I went really strict plant-based (no oil etc) and lost weight for six months. However, it didn’t improve my symptoms, although I initially felt better. Now, a few years down the road I probably don’t have RA (tests and X-rays are negative) but still have stiff joints so the health issues continue. Fortunately, it hasn’t impacted my life yet.
Because my symptoms don’t appear to be food related, that actually made my food compulsions worse. I felt to heck with it, why bother with all this strict eating if it makes no difference! I actually ended up being worse off in the end. But I am clever enough to realise that if I eat cleanly then I’ll live longer and perhaps my symptoms won’t get worse or may slow down over the years. Therefore I want to go back to a more moderate way of eating (to get rid of the binging).
With regard to my tiredness, I’m going to start eating fish again. I also like the stevia idea and will take B12 supplements. I’ve signed up for your email promotions because I admire your honesty.
Cheers,
Helen
Thank you, Helen! I appreciate you sharing your story and I am glad that you have found a better place of balance with food so you don’t feel as compulsive. I hope that you feel more energetic once you start eating fish again.
I applaud your honesty Carrie, I too have tried a Plant Based for a year in this life’s journey, Lectin free has seemed to help the most, but even with all the supplements, etc… I’ve felt more and more tired and too much weight loss, and I’ve now again started incorporating some Organic fish, chicken and beef back into my diet. For all the ignorant comments on this board, first off, nothing ever really dies, the universe is both matter and energy, You don’t have a soul, you are a soul and just have a body. Same with animals, plant life, when people say “killing”, that’s pure ignorance as nothing really dies. Lol Everything is just a circle of life in the universe and everything re-manifests. What’s only important for ourselves, is our decisons between the positive 50 percent or negative 50 percent of the universe. Thinking for oneself, doing one’s own good, avoid cruelty, seek purity, etc. if one is seeking a higher positive consciousness. But consuming an animal humanely as possible is just part of the life cycle animals do it to each other, it is neither good or bad and nothing really dies, the only thing important in life at least what I believe and pursue is the path of evolution of spirit, wether a physical body (human, plant, animal) dies today or tomorrow is not that relevant, we all die, what is more important is how we lived, and these 4 dimensions of time and space are just an illusion in our lower level of consciousness… 🙂
What an inspiring story! I tried cutting dairy and meat for the last two weeks – I’ve been a carnivore my whole life – and while I’ve seen a HUGE improvement in my constant sniffles (we’re talking a whole box of tissues I go through each week)… I feel EXHAUSTED.
What you say makes so much sense from a nutritional point of view, and from your point of view with your own story. Thanks for sharing your personal journey with us!
Thanks for caring, Erin. I hope you’re feeling better. Maybe you would be better off doing a paleo-type diet?
Hi Carrie,
I wish you all the best and hope you stay healthy.
Thomas Campbell (co author of the China Study) said that most people who struggle with a vegan diet don’t eat enough starch [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVqK3jxbQxo&fbclid=IwAR1qhBDBBmlXca-pXTvPEHeqCGHUyZ1KXQgAyQuuH_ZcHQCHLhoIRIDoWwI%5D.
I know you try to avoid gluten and that might bring about quite little starch intake.
All the best to you,
Tim
I want to comment about not being vegan anymore. My husband and I were vegans for 10 years. He developed Parkinson’s. We both developed macrocytic and iron deficiency anemia. I began to experience eye pain, stomach pain, facial pain and numbness and balance issues. Our doctors couldn’t understand what was wrong with us. Our diet, symptoms, and blood work pointed to B12 deficiency, yet we both had high levels of B12 in our blood. We both were very careful to take all the right vegan supplements.
Then my niece told me about MTHFR. She told me it was a genetic inability to process synthetic b vitamins. My husband and I are both homozygous MTHFR afflicted. The vegan diet was the worse thing we could’ve ever done to ourselves.
It’s been 5 years since I found all this out. I’m pretty much back to normal, but my sleep patterns are very disturbed.
I’m writing this to validate your experience. The deficiencies a person can develop are very serious. We’re talking permanent brain, nerve, and eye damage. I’m lucky my neice clued me into MTHFR. Who knows where I’d be if she hadn’t, because I was so convinced I was on the ultimate healthy “good” diet. My husband is still having trouble giving it up. Could be partly because of his Parkinson’s. Who knows. But everyone who goes vegan should understand that it can be a dangerous decision to make. We are omnivores. We have evolved to eat meat. I agree we can be responsible for making ethical decisions that do as little harm as possible, and it doesn’t have to involve food. My thing now is the realization that we are invasive species, and the kindest thing we can do for the planet and the other creatures we share it with, is to really consider not bringing more people into the world.
Thank you for sharing this Teresa! I’m so sorry to hear about your experience. My husband also got anemic while we were vegan. We are both doing much better now that we eat meat, and I am happy you are doing better. I have learned since my experience that eating meat is part of our DNA and some people really suffer when they exclude animal products from the diet. Sending lots of love.
Hi, I have a similar story in that I had cancer, was treated and now am dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have been on a vegan food plan (whole foods – no flour and no sugar) for over 2 years. Over the last several months, my energy seems to be getting lower and lower. I am considering trying some eggs and fish to see if that helps but I have a real debate going on in my head and my heart. My decision to be vegan was for health reasons but also ethical and environmental reasons, so I am very conflicted. There is no black and white answer for anyone. Thinking about the chemo treatments – many animals (rats and mice) have suffered and died so that we can have medicines that can save our lives. So instead of putting someone down for their decisions, i try to have compassion and do my best to not create harm. Thanks for putting yourself out there and sharing your experience.
Odette
Recent research has shown that carbs cause toxicity in the brain, this why high fat diets are good for people who suffer from epilepsy and seizures, migraines etc. Also the mitochondria in cancer cells can only derive energy and thus duplicate in a system with glucose. Perhaps you should look into a Ketogenic diet, not a clinical ketogenic, but almost like a modified Atkins diet. You would be amazed at the change it has made in my life. I am only writing this because I know it has helped me, and I hope maybe it could help you, if you wanted to look into it. Well take care.
I was a hardcore vegan. Got sick. Never felt right. Had dreams about burgers. Finally I just stopped. I can say for sure I need meat. Meat is one of the only foods that causes no issues in my digestive tract. No bloat. I would say this: please try to get meat from pasture raised grass fed sources, eggs only from really free range hens, and milk only from ethical farms that do not rip the baby from the mom and that milk her only a part of the day, not 18 hours.
I agree with all of your advice, Danielle, and really thank you for being part of this conversation. Hoping you are feeling better. I have found that ground meat and fish work especially well with my digestive issues and enzymes have helped with both plant-based and animal-based foods, too.
Wow…Carrie. I applaud you. Your determination and commitment are outstanding. I have no advise or speculation about your diet. What I would like to say is this:- Belief is more powerful than anything you put in your mouth when it comes to health, mind & body. Im not saying it doesnt count but if you ‘worry’ constantly about the importance of what you eat your creating an inner anxiety, which is fear based. Fear & anxiety are the leading contributers to the worst health problems in a human all leading to death. You are a precious beautiful person and you choose to guide people into better healthier living and its so obvious to see just how dearly loved & respected you are by so many beautiful souls here. I hope you realise just how seriously awesome you are. Be brave is my message for you and let yourself be free????
Carrie – I want to applaud you for your bravery and your fight to stay healthy. It took guts to admit you are not a strict vegan due to health issues; in some ways this is counter-intuitive to vegans who believe their choice of diet is better than any other diet. I am not here to denigrate anyone. It is all about that choice. As someone who had his thyroid removed due to cancer, I understand and sympathize with your plight and dilemma. It has been over 20 years since my surgery and I am doing great by the way. I am also a confirmed omnivore, but a very well educated one. I rely on fresh vegetables and fruits, refrain from white sugar and carbs as much as possible and love my meat, fish and chicken on occasion. My main point of writing this is to congratulate you on your forthright and honest statement about your change in diet. Good luck and stay healthy!
Wow, thank you, Rich, I really appreciate such kind and wise words. I’m also really encouraged by your story of thriving after thyroid cancer. I’m just about 3 years out and it’s been a huge struggle to feel “normal” again, but I’m getting closer and closer to a place where I feel strong and stable. Thanks again for your encouragement.